To My Girls- The Beauty of Being a Woman

May both my daughters always know the beauty of being a woman.

That her identity in Christ is far more valuable than the words of men; and her beauty runs far deeper than what our society paints as beautiful.

May she always look up to women of courage, strength, grace, and kindness rather than those in power and position.

May she never find shame in being weak where others are strong; and strong where some are weak. May she always understand that her equality comes from being equal in worth, but know she was made uniquely perfect by God- who loves her fully.

May she always know the beauty of a woman is found in her character, and strength in character far outweighs strength in beauty. May she rest in the knowledge that spiritual gifts are given and character is built…and it’s usually through mistakes and brokenness.

May she understand the power of her words. That she holds the power to encourage others and guide her husband with wisdom…and yet, still be confident enough to listen and accept wise counsel from him.

May she always gracefully accept the respect given to her…

when a door is opened,

a seat pulled out,

when a man stands up for her.

May she always find comfort in the protection of her husband’s arms. And always understand that her worth is not built on what she can do, but who she is….

And if someone tells her she can’t achieve something may she hold firm to the truth that she can do nothing apart from God and everything through Him …that He has called her to do.

I pray that her identity in Christ will always be the stronghold in her life; and May she stand strong when that identity in Christ is mocked by a nation who is always fighting against it. May she always know that God’s design for who she is is far beyond what the world has crafted her to be.

And may she always strive to be more like Christ – and less like man.

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Blessing Upon Blessing- Canton 


We met these two precious people in Canton this past weekend. God’s goodness and grace poured out, blessing upon blessing. After retiring a few years ago, they heard a calling from the Lord and obeyed. They live on the least amount of money they can and donate the rest to church missions and other charities. 
As my sister and I sat in our lonely little booth in Canton we knew we were supposed to be there because it had been given to us for free by the owners who we met at our Garage Sale for Haiti the month before. However, we decided about an hour in that 1-selling things is not our gift and 2-we should just pack up and go home….after shopping a little, of course! It seemed that the two of us together was intimidating because the only time our little booth got visitors was when there was only one of us tending to it! All of our displays and items seemed to slowly make their way outside our given space…surely someone would stop and look if there was a roadblock in the middle of the walkway. By noon we had four visitors, two that literally ran once I came out from behind the “curtain”. Another woman who told me she was glad that our education program actually provided an academic education and wasn’t centered on the gospel because “needy people do need food and a real education.” I scared her away when I explained that we do all three and that in each of our villages we build a church in the center as we are centered on gospel truth and sustainable help. She quickly responded “that’s great, but I’m not going to buy anything.” 

Finally by mid afternoon we had sold 6 pieces for the women in the village and felt somewhat productive. Of course, once again, God reminded us that “it’s really not all about us and what we do”. 

While I was at lunch, a vendor walked by our booth and shared with my sister his heart for Missions. He and his wife go to Africa often with a group from their church. As he shared his heart for the people in Africa, we shared our heart for Haiti. As he left our booth he mentioned that he was going to send his wife “a lady in a cowboy hat” to our booth to buy a piece. 

Later that hour, a lady in a cowboy hat showed up and shared with us that she and her husband felt lead to buy all of the pieces that were left at the end of the day. “Box up what you have left and write up a receipt” she said. At the end of the day there were 35 pieces left! 

This January every embroider in the village will be receiving money for their hours of work. Once again I am reminded that it’s not us, but Him. He ministers to us as we obey and He continuously reminds the women in the village that all is done for His Glory, not ours; that He is their faithful provider, not us. 

The world will tell you “give and pay it forward” so that you will be given much in return. I have learned that obedience in giving is far beyond any earthly blessing. God asks us to give so that we might see Him more clearly. 

A House for a Widow

A House for a Widow and What She Taught Me…..


“Mesi Jezi, Mesi Jezi”  
“Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus”
These are the words my husband, Joey, heard as he stood underneath a tiny hut looking up at a worn out battered roof held together by portions of broken walls and dried out corn stalks. The team gathered around the widow living in this tiny hut, asked her about her faith, shared the gospel with her, and prayed over her.
“How does someone live in these conditions and repeatedly thank Jesus? Would my faith be the same if I were in her shoes?”
This question continuously ran through my husband’s mind after returning from a week long trip to the remote area the Haitian people often refer to as “Deye Mon” – “Beyond the Mountain.” It is beyond this mountain that Dr. John has been visiting for over 30 years; and it is here that my husband met Lerosa for the very first time in November of 2014.
“She is a beautiful woman,” he told me. “Her heart and faith in the Lord has changed me forever.”
One year ago Dr. John shared with us, as board members, that Mercy International purchased the land in the remote area of Deye Mon with the hope of duplicating Village Merci De Dieu. We would rely on God to provide the donations to build the 20 homes in the village, filling them with the widows living in the surrounding area. It wasn’t long after this announcement that Joey and I began to feel a tugging in our heart to give more. And after much prayer, we knew that we were called to donate a house to a widow.
I remember the day Joey shared with me about Lerosa… her heart for the Lord, her courage, and her faith. How her face wore a beautiful peace-filled smile even though she had nothing and struggled through each day just to see another tomorrow. It was during this time that it became clear to us that we would donate the house to Lerosa and dedicate it in memory of my mom, Victoria Axtell.
In the dedication, I knew I wanted to incorporate my mom’s favorite verse…
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6
A well-known verse that is loved, memorized and often recited. Many of us could claim it as a life verse. Some may have even had a time in their life where this verse gave them the strength to get through hard days.
This verse is on my mom’s headstone above her grave. It is the verse that led her through life…when making difficult decisions, when walking through the challenging days of motherhood, and into the daunting days of living with terminal brain cancer. But more than that, it was a verse she lived out- always leaning on the Lord for guidance, strength, and understanding. Watching my mom during her time of struggle no matter when it was, she taught me to rely on God for comfort, peace, joy, and so much more. She taught me that when the world brings you discomfort, pain, heartbreak, and loss, it’s in those times that God reaches for our hand and proceeds to grow our perseverance and our desire for Him even more.
In the same way, the people of Haiti have also taught us…
How to love deeper despite the heartache.
How to be grateful when you have nothing.
How to give all to Christ because the burden is just too heavy.
How to depend on Him for all things because the world’s promises are empty.
And just as Proverbs 3:5-6 was etched into the stone above my mom’s grave, it was etched once more into a rock plaque that hangs beside the doorway of a house that now belongs to a beloved widow. When the keys were given, I wasn’t there. I have never met this woman who has made a lasting impression on my husband. But, I have watched the video – a video that show the moment she realized who this house was dedicated in memory of and why. When I saw her face, her hand on my husband’s shoulder- I felt her love and I saw her heart.
I saw that she understood the pain and grief that comes from loss. In that moment I could see that she too could claim Proverbs 3:5-6 as her own…knowing that trusting in the Lord also means trusting in His perfect plan, will, and timing.
It wasn’t just in this moment of receiving a house that she claimed God as good.
He was Good before she had a solid roof over her head.
He was Faithful before she stepped foot into her new home and laid her head on a soft bed for the very first time.
And it wasn’t men she praised or gave glory to. She may have thanked my husband for the keys but she praised God for His provision.
“The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.”- 1 Timothy 5:5

Where Do I Fit?

A guest post written by my dad…

April 15, 2016 by Alan 
  
“So, Lord, where do I fit?” That was my simple prayer to the Lord as Jean and I headed off to Haiti.  

Why would I ask that question? Here is why. My wife, Jean and two of my three daughters and their husbands have become immersed in ministry to Haiti, specifically at the Village Merci’ de Dieu, in Haiti. Together they are involved with sewing classes, educational development of children, Bible school, arranging English classes, providing food for needy children, occupational training, and just hugging on kids in general.

But Alan? Let’s see…sewing? Nope, that’s not me! Educational and occupational training! Already covered by my girls and their husbands! Teaching vacation Bible school to young children Maybe when I was 30! Just hugging on kids? Maybe a little, but I’m really not the hugging type.  

“So, Lord, where do I fit?!? Just show me, and I will do exactly when you want me to do.”

We arrived Saturday evening and after a great night’s sleep, we headed to church. I had already heard great reports about God moving in the Village and I was looking forward to spending time at the Sunday morning worship service. And I was not disappointed! There was a new vibrancy in the church. People were singing their hearts out with frequent hallelujahs and smiles everywhere. And, although I did not understand what Pastor Clifford was saying, I could tell he had a genuine passion for the Lord.  

Pastor Clifford and his family live very close to the village. When he heard the Village no longer had a pastor, he felt God’s leading to make himself available should the Village leadership council so choose. As God would have it, the council placed him in the role of interim pastor. Pastor Clifford asked for no financial support. He simply felt blessed to serve.

Now…fast forward a few days after the Sunday worship service. Dr. John and two other men (with the blessing of the Village leadership) decided to meet with Pastor Clifford to hear his heart and to ask him a simple question, “What are your top three needs?”  

After their interview I quickly cornered Dr. John and the others with him. What they told me revealed volumes about this man of God. Pastor Clifford’s top three needs were church related needs and nothing about his financial needs. With that, I was convinced that God wanted me to raise the needed support for this man of God and his family!

“So Lord, where do I fit?” God’s answer was as clear as anything He has ever asked me to do. As soon as I returned home, I began sharing with close friends about Pastor Clifford’s heart and his financial needs. God moved mightily in the hearts of several men (including me!) and within two weeks of returning home, Pastor Clifford had his support for the year. Praise God. But there is more…

At the most recent board meeting of Mercy International the Board selected two other Haitian pastors to be supported as God provides the funds. Pastor Wilford and his wife will minister in the newly developing village in Deye Mon and Pastor Etienne will receive a long deserved increase in his financial support. I am happy to report that through the efforts of the Board, Mercy International has received cash and pledges covering all but $400 per month to support all three pastors! If you would like to support any part of the remaining need, simply mark your check, “Pastoral Support”. I cannot begin to express how excited I am about having God ordained, Haitian pastors and their wives serving the people that all of us love so dearly.  

“So, where do you fit?” Just ask, and He will let you know.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

My Mom –

  
She saw strength in my quietness and soft spoken spirit. She saw it as patience- the ability to stand still and wait on the Lord. I saw it as weakness. I saw it as a fear to trust others, a fear to move forward- always questioning God’s leading. What I saw as weakness she saw as beauty and strength. 

My beautiful mom, who was always able to see deep into the heart of those hurting, saw life through eyes of grace. She understood that in brokenness comes a humbled heart, a willingness to be changed- That it’s in our weakness that we are made mighty in the eyes of the Lord. 

She never expected perfection in her children, only a willingness to be changed- to be molded by the One who Saves.

She’d say she was lacking in so many areas of her life. She’d say she had a weakness of an unforgiving, worrisome heart. But I saw her unbelievable ability to admit her faults, to pour grace upon others, and love them in their weakness. 

She worried, but in that worry she cared deeply for others. 

She worried about her husband- desiring for him to find someone when she was gone. 

She worried about her children- desiring for them to stand together under the umbrella of knowing the depth of God’s love for them. 

She worried about her daddy- that he would have the strength to move forward in caring for the needs of others even as his heart broke for her.

She worried about her family- desiring for them to see and know Christ as she had come to know Him. 

She worried about her friends- desiring for them to be united in friendship that was created by the grief of loss.

She worried her death would fall during the holidays, or worse, my birthday. She underwent a risky 2nd brain surgery just to extend her life through the holidays – even with the knowledge that it could take her life or paralyze her…..and it did, causing partial paralysis.

She was strong-willed and stubborn; always doing what she saw as best.

It was in her worry that she layed all of her loved ones at the foot of the cross, knowing without a doubt, that God would make all things beautiful in His time. He would make beauty from the ugliness of the death she would experience here on earth. 

To her – it wasn’t about living a perfect life. It was about living out a faith made perfect by a Holy God. It wasn’t just knowing about faith- a faith that was born in her daddy’s church. It was about experiencing faith with eyes that could bring about a revival of hope found only in Christ. 

She saw grace extended to her- and she knew grace. What everyone saw as ugliness and weakness- she saw redeemable by a gracious God. 

I grieved my mom as a child. I grieved what I lost as a child- a mom who brought comfort and security. I had the blinding eyes of a child when I was in the midst of taking care of her…of watching her fade into the long days of her nearing her day in heaven. 

Now I grieve her in my motherhood. Things I couldn’t see as sacrifice when I was a child- I see clearly now. As a mom, I can not imagine how she had enough strength to live in courage; to walk through each day with her eyes lifted upward in joy- 

To still claim “God is good” during her darkest moments of a wavering body and fading memory. 

It’s always how she lived….seeing good in the bad, seeing strength in weakness. 

An Answered Prayer


Living in America we have access to excess. We have access to all we need and all we want.  I am not sure if it’s a cultural mindset or just my own, but the majority of the time I plan my course, and then ask God to guide me, to steer me away from making a wrong decision, and protect me from bad decisions. Working with Mercy International, God has made it clear that it’s not “us” creating something and then inviting God in to direct our steps. Rather, it’s God inviting us in and allowing us to see Him work. It has nothing to do with “us” and everything to do with Him.

Every year as I step foot on the plane that sends us off to Haiti it becomes more apparent that God is our great provider. From the teams that are formed to the work that is done, God controls all. In the past year I have seen Him work in a land that most consider hopeless. I have seen Him answer prayers and give abundantly more than we could ever imagine. I’ve watched as He’s brought support from likely and unlikely places;  And I have seen Him withhold needs and plans just to reveal it’s not His will because He has something better.

One year ago, we (as the board) prayed for a new pastor for the church in the village. We all had the same desire and we all had ideas on how to “get” this person who would help shepherd a people craving the goodness and hope found only in the Lord. God provided. He called us to pray and that’s what we did. He did the rest.

If you could sit and listen to this young pastor’s testimony…how he tried to reject God and live his life the way he wanted, but God continuously sought him out preparing his heart for Him. If you could hear how he was brought to a house that sits at the bottom of the hill right outside the village long before it was there- you would see. You would know that God planned this course long before we showed up. Long before we desired this.

Is it not God that places His desires within us? There’s no greater joy then when our longings are, not only fulfilled, but also from the Lord.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

-Proverbs 13:12

Grieving through Christmas 

The holiday season is hard. It is difficult for those that have recently lost, and it is  difficult for those that have lost in years past. I know that for me, there are years that pass by quickly and the season feels easier than others…new memories are made and old memories welcomed. Other times, of no choosing of my own, unwelcomed memories creep in, awaken grief and flood the heart. A feeling of emptiness pours down and a heaviness in the chest appears that feels as if a thousand bricks are weighing me down.

However, to those who have recently lost, I know the days are long and almost unbearable. I remember those hard days during the holidays that filled my life with a mess of emotions. 

I know the days  when walking out the front door seems impossible because you know what lives on the other side of it – a life where everyone’s hanging lights, shopping for gifts, and filling the air with Christmas songs. Music that once brought good feelings, but now only brings grief and the rememberance of the ones you’ve lost.

 I remember the days when the memories you once cherished fill your mind, but now get lost in your moments of pain…

when you wish you could fast forward through the days of family gatherings and opening presents…

When the days leading up to Christmas feel overwhelmingly harder than the actual day; And the days after Christmas give you a sigh of relief because you can finally breath a whisper that says, “I’ve made it through.”

 I remember those days. They are hard, but always redeemable. Hold tight to these days of tears – remembering what Christmas is. Who He is.  How God brought a Redeemer to a sin filled world and layed him in a manger. Because It is in these moments of remembering Him that will bring comfort and a hope that will never disappoint; and it is here that you will find peace and strength to move forward. Surround yourself with those who allow you to grieve silently, to stand in conversation speechless, and to not fake a smile. Ride out the storm. God will provide you enough strength to make it through. 

One Nation Under God

 
Not moments after France was attacked red cups disappeared from social media, prayer was rekindled and accepted again in a Nation that had just recently been fighting to extinguish it from every corner. 

The same people who want to abolish prayer are the same people who are fighting to accept A hurting people from foreign lands. And the majority of people fighting to keep prayer the center of a nation we call “godless” are refusing a people being slaughtered in a region that has undoubtedly been on their recent prayer list.

God answers prayers, but the answers He gives aren’t always easy. They are hard…difficult and heartbreaking at times. It’s not always easy accepting the answer God gives. It wasn’t easy when I accepted His answer that He was calling my mom home; and it wasn’t easy as I watched her leave this earth. But what I learned from her death and what I always remember in difficult times is that

When His answers are difficult they are still good. And when His answers are  heartbreaking they are still redeemable . And when His answers are scary they are  still sovereign. 

He asks us to do the difficult- to reach out and help those who are hurting. He asks us to trust, not in mortal men, but in the One who saves. He asks us, “how much meaning is behind your prayers? Do you want to save a hurting people enough to get into the trenches with them? Walk next to them? Live among them and help heal their broken hearts? Do you trust Me enough to make it right? Do you have the courage?” 

Courage doesn’t always seem practical. It wrestles with danger and is in limbo with self-sacrifice. A daring man is not courageous, just foolish. God does not ask us to be daring, he asks us to be strong, to be courageous. 

Our pathway to freedom came through courage. Courage placed our ancestor’s feet on American soil. And courage has hung our flag and stuck its rod into a cratered moon, a dying land, and among the rubble of an open grave. If we continue to walk the line that our Nation is “One Nation Under God”   then we must have the courage to act on it….and what a comfort that must be for both Christians and Muslims escaping the same fate. 

Seeking His Will

  
June 6, 2015: 

God has shattered any pre-conceived notion that I have had about what His will is. I have prayed for opened doors, closed doors, road blocks, and easy paths. But wrapped in a prayer can be a laying out of my will enveloped in a sea of demands made by me. 
“Do this God, and I will know it’s your will and leading”

  “Allow for opened doors, and I will know the way to your will, God.” 

I have been on both sides of closed and opened doors; and the one thing I have learned is that neither one is a guarantee that God’s will for us is on either side of it. I have walked through open doors just to have them be closed later. I’ve detoured around closed doors just to be brought back around to the front again with a yearning to enter.

Opened doors do not always hold an open invitation to walk through them. 

And

Closed doors do not always shatter dreams and cast out a refusal to enter.

And so how can we really “know” where God is leading? What is His will? 
I have been lead to places and have had opportunities arise just to realize that God meant it as a stepping stone to a much bigger plan. 
God’s will does not always work the way we want…with a perfect formula or within a perfect script. 

I know of many times in my life where God’s will has been difficult to grasp…without a clear and open path to those desires of the heart. 

Sometimes it’s been as easy as a closed or open door, but most of the time it is not. 

For me, most of the time there are several detours, discouraging events along a hard fought road to doing to his will; living out his calling and purpose for my life.

I have found that when I throw out a statement “show me your will, God” after an opportunity has presented itself I feel more inclined to look for “signs” that I am doing His will. It is when I persevere through a commitment to walking in a daily relationship with Christ that I hear him more clearly. It is God that is doing the leading, the pruning, the guiding…way before an opportunity presents itself. 

God’s plan for us rises above our perception. 

Even in my own reasoning for what I think God’s will is, ultimately, His purpose is far beyond my insight or what I think His will is. 

His plans are so much bigger than I often think. Every written plan is for his purpose, His glory, in the big picture of forever…not the momentary life we live. 

May God guide you daily to knowing Him deeper so that when He does bring about an opportunity to walk in His will you might know it fully; without any hint of doubt. 

Village Music 


Meet Damas!

He is a sweet and talented young man living in the Village Merci de Dieu in Haiti. He loves the Lord and has a heart to praise Him. It is very apparent that the Lord is working in him and through him. During the evening hours, you will hear praise music sounding throughout the village. This is because Damas and a few of his friends took it upon themselves to start up a youth group, praising Jesus during the week and twice on Sunday. There are many needs within the village, both physical and spiritual.

The need for deeper knowledge in Christ is not determined by the borders and boundaries of where we live. We are all in desperate need of the hope that comes from the knowledge of who Christ is.

Damas is sharing the love of Christ through his music…music that comes from an old drum, a beat up piece of tin, and an electric keyboard. 


He desires to have drums, 100 watt amp, speakers, and a bass guitar. 

Some of these items could be donated here in the states and taken down on the next trip in November; or it could be way of donating money. If you have a love for music, or knowledge to lend, it would be greatly appreciated.

This would be a great opportunity for your church youth group to come together and raise money for Damas. 

If you would like to help Damas by donating any of these items please let me know or you can donate online noting it “damas music” at

http://www.mercyintl.org/donate/