Grieving through Christmas 

The holiday season is hard. It is difficult for those that have recently lost, and it is  difficult for those that have lost in years past. I know that for me, there are years that pass by quickly and the season feels easier than others…new memories are made and old memories welcomed. Other times, of no choosing of my own, unwelcomed memories creep in, awaken grief and flood the heart. A feeling of emptiness pours down and a heaviness in the chest appears that feels as if a thousand bricks are weighing me down.

However, to those who have recently lost, I know the days are long and almost unbearable. I remember those hard days during the holidays that filled my life with a mess of emotions. 

I know the days  when walking out the front door seems impossible because you know what lives on the other side of it – a life where everyone’s hanging lights, shopping for gifts, and filling the air with Christmas songs. Music that once brought good feelings, but now only brings grief and the rememberance of the ones you’ve lost.

 I remember the days when the memories you once cherished fill your mind, but now get lost in your moments of pain…

when you wish you could fast forward through the days of family gatherings and opening presents…

When the days leading up to Christmas feel overwhelmingly harder than the actual day; And the days after Christmas give you a sigh of relief because you can finally breath a whisper that says, “I’ve made it through.”

 I remember those days. They are hard, but always redeemable. Hold tight to these days of tears – remembering what Christmas is. Who He is.  How God brought a Redeemer to a sin filled world and layed him in a manger. Because It is in these moments of remembering Him that will bring comfort and a hope that will never disappoint; and it is here that you will find peace and strength to move forward. Surround yourself with those who allow you to grieve silently, to stand in conversation speechless, and to not fake a smile. Ride out the storm. God will provide you enough strength to make it through. 

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