In The Right Place

I am super excited for Presley because she is going to be a big sister!!!!! And I think that she will be the most magnificent big sister ever! There are many emotions and thoughts running through my mind. My first feeling is always excitement and then a few minutes later reality sets in…the reality that we need a bigger house, the reality that 2 is busier than 1, the reality that it might be a boy (eek!), the reality that I might have to mother 2 teenage daughters (eek!), the reality that I have 9 more months of this. A few minutes of a reality check also leaves imprints of anxiousness in my heart and then the “I hopes” begin…I hope this baby is healthy, I hope I can endure 9 months of this, I hope I am a good mom to 2, I hope this baby is in the right spot! This last hope is a big one for me for right now.

Joey and I tend to be somewhat subdued when we get pregnant…maybe because we know what it’s like to lose a baby in the early stages. Right now my mind is consumed with peace and fear all wrapped into one. ??? Strange as that sounds, it is true. I can’t even get my mind passed the possibility of it being in the wrong place. I don’t have anymore “spare parts”…if you know what I mean. I try not to think about myself as a statistic, but there’s still that 30% possibility that seems to be taking over my thoughts. For the next 6 weeks my life will be consumed with blood work, blood work, and blood work…and oh, did I mention blood work? I am thankful that I am considered a “high risk” pregnancy and that the first 6-8 weeks will be filled with dr appointments! I am comforted that there is already a “plan” in place.There have already been some good things that have happened that I am trying to focus on…

1- today was the day I should have gotten a positive pregnancy test and I did. I take a pregnancy test 3 times during my cycle…beginning, middle, and end. Today was the one that we wanted to be positive 🙂 and it was!
2- I have been sick 😉
3- I have been hungry every minute of every day 😉
4- I knew I was pregnant before I took the test…intuition 😉 When I was pregnant with an ovarian pregnancy, I didn’t know I was pregnant, but still had a “bad” feeling…a feeling that something wasn’t “right” with my body.
5- I have been exhausted 😉

If you know me, then you know that I am not one to tell everyone about being pregnant. I am sharing this news early for one purpose and one purpose only…prayer. I think that my mind and heart will be filled with peace if I know that we are being prayed over. I need my prayer warriors to pray on! Starting first with the prayer that this precious little baby is in the right place and that I am in the right place mentally and emotionally…trusting and relying on God completely!

When I was pregnant with Presley I was terrified of having a baby…literally. So I memorized the following verse early on…

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” -2 Timothy 1:7

This verse carried me all the way up to the point at which Presley was resting peacefully in my arms.

So, I think I will memorize Philippians 4:6-7 for this one…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. “
...because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
-I John 4:4b
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