I am super excited for Presley because she is going to be a big sister!!!!! And I think that she will be the most magnificent big sister ever! There are many emotions and thoughts running through my mind. My first feeling is always excitement and then a few minutes later reality sets in…the reality that we need a bigger house, the reality that 2 is busier than 1, the reality that it might be a boy (eek!), the reality that I might have to mother 2 teenage daughters (eek!), the reality that I have 9 more months of this. A few minutes of a reality check also leaves imprints of anxiousness in my heart and then the “I hopes” begin…I hope this baby is healthy, I hope I can endure 9 months of this, I hope I am a good mom to 2, I hope this baby is in the right spot! This last hope is a big one for me for right now.
Joey and I tend to be somewhat subdued when we get pregnant…maybe because we know what it’s like to lose a baby in the early stages. Right now my mind is consumed with peace and fear all wrapped into one. ??? Strange as that sounds, it is true. I can’t even get my mind passed the possibility of it being in the wrong place. I don’t have anymore “spare parts”…if you know what I mean. I try not to think about myself as a statistic, but there’s still that 30% possibility that seems to be taking over my thoughts. For the next 6 weeks my life will be consumed with blood work, blood work, and blood work…and oh, did I mention blood work? I am thankful that I am considered a “high risk” pregnancy and that the first 6-8 weeks will be filled with dr appointments! I am comforted that there is already a “plan” in place.There have already been some good things that have happened that I am trying to focus on…
1- today was the day I should have gotten a positive pregnancy test and I did. I take a pregnancy test 3 times during my cycle…beginning, middle, and end. Today was the one that we wanted to be positive 🙂 and it was!
2- I have been sick 😉
3- I have been hungry every minute of every day 😉
4- I knew I was pregnant before I took the test…intuition 😉 When I was pregnant with an ovarian pregnancy, I didn’t know I was pregnant, but still had a “bad” feeling…a feeling that something wasn’t “right” with my body.
5- I have been exhausted 😉
If you know me, then you know that I am not one to tell everyone about being pregnant. I am sharing this news early for one purpose and one purpose only…prayer. I think that my mind and heart will be filled with peace if I know that we are being prayed over. I need my prayer warriors to pray on! Starting first with the prayer that this precious little baby is in the right place and that I am in the right place mentally and emotionally…trusting and relying on God completely!
When I was pregnant with Presley I was terrified of having a baby…literally. So I memorized the following verse early on…
This verse carried me all the way up to the point at which Presley was resting peacefully in my arms.
So, I think I will memorize Philippians 4:6-7 for this one…