This past weekend while Joey and I were cleaning and organizing the house I came across a letter my mom had written me in 1992 when I was a Sophomore in High School. There are 4 letters that I keep close to my heart…a letter my dad gave me when I was in the 6th grade that discussed what I wanted in a husband, a letter from my Grandpa Cose that he gave me and Joey a few months after we got married, a letter my mom left me 6 months before she passed away, and this letter from 1992.
As I sat and read through each of these letters I began to think back on the goodness of God. These letters were written because of something that prompted them to do so and I truly believe that that “something” was God’s goodness. Who would have thought, the words in these letters would live on in my heart long after they were written?
At my grandma’s house, there is a special little book that sits in a protective case. It is the journal of my Great Great Grandma Millie from the 1890’s. She kept this journal to record her thoughts and prayers before passing away. On the last page of her book she wrote the sweetest thing… “Goodnight my little book until we meet again.”
Anyone who knows me knows that I love “family history.” I love old pictures, old clothing, old books, old papers and anything antique. My Grandma and Grandpa Axtell have the most amazing love story which was published in a book not too long ago. What an amazing treasure!! If I could record all of my grandparents memories in a jar I would. 😉
In 1987 my mom had the privilege of being one of the speakers at a woman’s conference called, “Women to Women.” Ten years later, after she passed away, our pastor gave my dad copies of these two lectures that were previously recorded on cassette tape. The titles of these two lectures??? “How to Stand when You’ve Been Flattened” and “Prayer in the Time of Need.” You can imagine our surprise when we listened to these tapes. And you can imagine the impact these two tapes had on our family and continue to have on our family to this day…especially when facing difficult times.
Having been confronted throughout the years with past letters, tapes, and words from loved ones I try to make it a point to record my thoughts. I started writing letters to my husband when I was in 10th grade and continued writing him until the day I knew who he was. One of the letters I wrote to my husband was written on May 15, 1999. Who knew I would be standing before him 5 years later on that same date of May 15th! I wrote letters to my children before they were ever born. I kept travel diaries (my mom’s doing) starting when I was 9 years old and continued until I was a senior in high school. I kept a prayer journal, writing down my every thought and prayer, in the midst of my grief a year and half after my mom passed away. I kept a prayer journal the months before I got pregnant and continue with it today. And although I rarely re-visit these old journals, especially the ones written in the midst of my grief, I keep them. I keep them because they remind me of God’s goodness, God’s faithfulness, and His unconditional love.
I write so that I can always look back and see the hand of God in my life. I write so that my daughter will be able to see the hand of God in her life. I write so that one day there will be that 1 letter that my daughter comes across and re-reads…in hopes that it ends up meeting her right where she’s at in the midst of her circumstances. I write for this child….and this man. ;o)